Post #500: 2008 is over, 2009 begins...

After much ado, thought, and planning, here is the big post #500.  I'm going to be all over the place with this one, recapping what happened in 2008, and talking about some things coming up in 2009.  Without any more preface, let's talk about:

2008

Top events in 2008

10. Saw The Offspring in concert.  My favorite band for the last 10 years held a free concert sponsored by T-Mobile in Uptown Charlotte.  I am usually not one to go to or even like live concerts; they're typically too loud, or I don't like fighting the crowds, but this outdoor concert just off the train line was awesome!  I didn't realize how many of their songs I knew by heart.

9. Moved into my own apartment.  I got my own place in southwest Charlotte, not too far from work, not too far from cheap gas in South Carolina, and fairly close to a nature preserve that has been the subject of much of my photography, which I'll mention later.

8. Broke into (and out of) management.  Professionally, this was a big one, as I had never been in an official supervisor capacity before.  Suddenly having 70 to 80 people under my direct management was an incredible experience that required me to learn quickly, and assess how I communicate with different types of people and adapt quickly to various situations.  I left on a high note, though; after months of being on call nonstop, my decision to leave management wasn't because I didn't like it, or was unsuccessful, but because I was able to turn something I love into something I do professionally.

7. Movies, movies, movies!  2008 was a great year for movies; my top 3 are easily Iron Man, Wall-E, and The Dark Knight, although there are several others that are notable.  Tropic Thunder, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Hellboy II, Quantum of Solace, Be Kind Rewind, Wanted, and You Don't Mess with the Zohan round out my top 10.  I know some of them are quirky and a bit low-brow, but no one ever accused me of being a Cannes movie critic, I just know what I like. 

6. Spent two weeks in California.  I had never been further west than Oklahoma until this year, and the opportunity came with my new job to spend two weeks in Silicon Valley for training.  After everything I had ever seen, read, or heard about California, from what I have seen, I only want to spend more time there.  San Francisco is an incredible city, and being at the center of America's technology sector was like a dream.  I have photos that I still have not sorted through, and the people I met were all intelligent, relaxed, and good-natured.  If I spend too much time out there, I may end up being a west coast guy after all.

5. Read a lot of good books.  I haven't even counted, but this year I read more sci-fi than ever, focusing on Robert Heinlein, Cory Doctorow, William Gibson, and other cyber age fiction authors.  Their writing inspires me to think, to re-imagine the world we live in, and look at it with optimism and hope, although many of the stories show a future with neither.  I just found out that Gibson grew up in a small town only 30 miles from my hometown, and that his frustration living in an area stuck in the past motivated him to write about the future.  I can understand that concept completely, and it is most likely why his writing has appealed to me so much.

4. Discovered the joy of photography.  I had a camera before, but this year I bought a Camera, and worked damn hard to learn how to use it.  Through the lens, I have discovered a creative side of me that I did not know was there, and have found it to be an expressive release.  After California, I have backed off a bit, but come spring you can bet there will be many more photos to come.

3. Turned a hobby (technology) into a profession.  When I bought my first computer in 2002, just after I graduated the police academy, I had no idea that in just a few years, I would be making a living repairing them.  Ironically, it was a hard drive failure in 2003 that started me on the path to learn more about computers, how they work, and how to use them better, that eventually brought me to work part time as a specialist and now full time as a technician.  When I have a computer in front of me, I can almost feel how the electricity is running through it, how the hard drive is spinning, and how the bits of data are running in and out of memory.  I am far from knowing everything there is to know, but I feel comfortable with them, coming a long way from that one and only call to a tech support center in fall of 2003 that frustrated me enough to learn how to do it myself.  Being able to get paid for that is awesome, and one of the best things of 2008.

2. Built new friendships and strengthened relationships with my family.  Through work and around Charlotte, I have been fortunate enough to meet many interesting people and build friendships I hope will develop further in 2009.  Holly and I have been dating over a year now, as well, and we have a relationship that I value greatly.  Living less than a mile from my aunt has also enabled me to be there for her when she and her husband went through a challenging time with a death in their family, and the trust I have built with them is irreplaceable to me.  Seeing my mother and father recently become dog owners is warming to me, because I think the addition of Dash to our family will help them to be more complete in their own lives.  Overall, I relish the people around me, and take joy in their happiness and success.  I haven't always been this close to others, and I am working constantly to keep up socially, but I have learned the value in doing so.

1. Watched the sun set on the Pacific (and photographed it).  Ever since I have watched the sun rise on the Atlantic, I have wanted to watch the sun set on the Pacific Ocean.  You could call it one of my life goals; something I had to do before I died.  While in California, I took a rental car on my own out to Half Moon Bay Beach on a perfect afternoon, and watched the sun set on the beach.  Those hours spent are among the most peaceful and happy of my life, and to take it a step further, they are all recorded through photo and video.  When the sun set too low to take any more photos, I hopped back in the rental car, kicked the moon roof back, and took a leisurely drive down Highway 1, the Pacific Coast highway, for the rest of the time the sun was setting.  Overall, it was the perfect afternoon, and among the best days of my life, making it number one on this list from 2008. 

2009

The year ahead:

After such a great year in 2008, how do I follow this up in 2009?  I have some ideas for improvement:

1.  Lose weight.  Toward the end of 2008, I got sick, and even had to go to the hospital for a mild complication with my heart.  I am still seeing a cardiologist, and we are going through a holter monitor, stress testing, and all of that good stuff, but all roads lead to one thing, I have to drop weight.  I am already off to a good start from the last three weeks.  I am exercising regularly, eating right, and have adjusted to a new diet and healthier eating habits.  Mentally, I am back into a weight-loss mode, and I am beginning to feel better again.  However, I have a long way to go.  My weight has topped anything I had ever peaked at before, and I have made a solid promise to myself to never be near to what I am right now again when I get it off.  Because the severity of my weight gain has been so much, I have equated it to death.  If I stay at my current weight, I will die.  In that spirit, as a sort of motivation to get it down, I thought about the most fun thing that I have always wanted to do, but have not done because of money, weight, or fear, because, if I stay at this weight and I die, I might as well die having fun if I lose it, right?  Anyway, the idea is this, if I get below 220, I'm buying a motorcycle.  I haven't decided what kind, but I have always wanted to ride a motorcycle, and this is an opportunity to fulfill two life dreams at once; to get back in shape, and to have a motorcycle.  I will be writing more about this later, and may possibly have a website detailing the idea, talking about my actual weight loss process, but for now, you get the drift.

2.  Learn as much as possible and gain experience at my job.  This would seem like a no-brainer, but you would be surprised at how many people just go through their work lives and get complacent, reaching a level of competence and never pursuing more.  I want this to be my career, what I'm doing now and beyond, whoever I work for and wherever it will lead.  To do that, I am going to have to build upon the knowledge I already have and work even harder to take it to the next level, to be prepared down the road when I want to do something more.  I don't think I will immediately pursue any more certifications aside from the ones I have already earned, because it would be spending money for nothing in my current position, but I am thinking about dabbling in a bit of programming and network systems architecture and management.  I know that web development is also the wave of the future, so I would be amiss if I did not consider learning more about that.  I have a friend pursuing his degree with online courses, and I have thought about taking a couple of online courses just to learn more in my current role.

3.  Enjoy 2009 even more than 2008.  I want to start enjoying each year better than the last, which I know is a tall order in the journey of life, but I do know that last year was better than the year before, and I want to keep the trend going.  I can achieve this in large part by completing the first two goals of this year, but there are a couple more things I can do.  I want to continue to build friendships and enjoy my family.  I am considering adding a dog or cat to my own household. Finally, I want to continue enjoying my hobbies, photography, movies, and reading, which have consistently provided me with entertainment and satisfaction. 

I'm still trying to figure out why I look so pissed in this picture...

Summation

Putting it all together, I have had a great 2008, and I am looking forward to seeing how 2009 comes together.  I have a lot of great things happening, and plan to keep the ball rolling into the new year.  Now that I am past this post, I am going to keep adding some additional content, links, and new photos/videos of what life brings.  Thanks for reading, commenting, and being a part of my life.

Doing better today...

So, after a long past two days and a fiasco of a meeting yesterday morning, I recovered today and had a much better day. I went around the Huntersville and Cornelius area, seeing all of the new buildings and stores that have come in since I was here last, and checking out some of the back roads and ways to get around the place here. One day this week, I'm going to head out to the nearby dam and take some photos, but I'd like it to be at one of the better times of day for light.

Tomorrow is going to be great. My aunt is off, so we'll be hanging out most of the day, having lunch with my mother, and probably apartment hunting. I think the university area will be more my speed than out in the burbs. Hopefully I won't have a bad commute either.
Tomorrow night, I have a meet and greet sort of thing. I usually get nervous going to meet a group of strangers. You hope you meet people that you'll have things in common with, and begin some sort of communication. You hope you fit in. The funny part is, you'll never know until you go, and it is almost never as bad as you worry it will be.

I have a house plant that I bought a couple of years ago, when I was moving back into my own apartment after my separation. That poor plant has been through a bit since. I have put it in pitiful condition and have had to bring it back several times, but have kept it with me, and for the most part actually remembered to water and take care of it. I know, it's a plant, it's not hard. For me, the watering thing can be a challenge. I lost a really nice peace lily because of that once.
As I was leaving the house in Ann Arbor the other day, I happened to glance in the dining room where this plant sat. Yet again, it had slumped over and some of the smaller leaves were turning brown. I felt like total shit. Here was this poor thing, that had been around through some really bad times, and I had totally neglected it. Again, I know, it's a plant. So, after watering it, it was the last thing that came in the car for the trip down. The water perked it up a bit, and some light yesterday helped it more, but I knew it was bound to have out grown the pot it was in.
One of my stops today was Home Depot, where I picked up a nice pot and some potting soil. I don't think I have repotted a plant since primary school (they teach that sort of thing in the rural south), but I remember the most of it. Again, it's a plant. So I get back and I set everything up, and I have the new pot ready with some new soil, I pull up the plant from the old pot, and sure enough, the roots had completely spread through the old pot. Now the next part is obvious, you have to clean the old soil out from around the roots, and get the roots ready to be put into the new soil.
I start doing this, and I have a good pile of old dirt going, when I realize that exactly as I am doing with this plant, I am doing with my life. My roots have nowhere left to go in Ann Arbor, and I am not flourishing there. So in replanting my life, I have to clean off the old soil, and be ready to take into the new. I have to make sure there is space to grow, and that the same conditions that caused Michigan to be such a mess do not happen again here.
By the time this hit me, I was just standing there holding a plant with a bunch of exposed root in my hand. With care, and a bit more thought than I had initially given the task, I put the plant into the new soil and pot. After watering it, I realized that the next part is on the plant. Hopefully, the roots will take, and the soil will work well, and it will do well in the new pot.
What I gained today, aside from hopefully a healthier plant, was another reminder of what I have been through, and what I have to look ahead for. I got back some of my optimism today, which is what I will need in the weeks ahead.

Conflict...

You would think a guy like me would be used to this by now. 13 years of working with the public, dealing with some of the worst sides of human nature, I should be used to being in a position that brings me into conflict with people on a daily basis. Why do I feel so weary of it at the end of the day? I think my problem with conflict is that at my core, I am a genuine nice guy. I could live my life in peace and harmony with about anybody as long as they did not overstep my boundaries. I gave up on caring about what other people do to screw up their own lives several years ago.
So here I am, in another position where I am in an adversarial role, and I feel like I am heading back into the same issues I was before. Maybe my ideal job is to be a hermit. My girlfriend suggested that there is a vacancy in the unibomber role in the US right now, but I am not really big on the retirement plan. Besides, the whole evil mastermind deal isn't my thing. I'm a nice guy. Although there are a few names...
Anyway, visions of the few people I wouldn't mind seeing dead aside, I am not sure if I am ruthless enough to do what I am doing. Maybe I am too compassionate, or try to place myself into others' shoes too readily.
So, what to do now... For now, I am still going to work at it. Maybe I will come around, maybe I won't. I am not going to quit. There is a reason they call it a day job, and as long as it is paying the bills, it isn't totally bad for me. I still feel like I need something that supports my soul as well.
I think I will find it someday. I think it is what I am moving toward. I have a pretty good life going up here, and I enjoy every minute of my personal time.
I think I am writing this to get on track and find my heading. As a friend I have made at work likes to put it, you have to find what gets you from your point A to your point B. I had to explain to him that right now my point B is best represented as a line symbolic of any number of satisfactory outcomes. It could be illustrated like this:
If I'm not in the gray, though, I think I am close.