Post #500: 2008 is over, 2009 begins...

After much ado, thought, and planning, here is the big post #500.  I'm going to be all over the place with this one, recapping what happened in 2008, and talking about some things coming up in 2009.  Without any more preface, let's talk about:

2008

Top events in 2008

10. Saw The Offspring in concert.  My favorite band for the last 10 years held a free concert sponsored by T-Mobile in Uptown Charlotte.  I am usually not one to go to or even like live concerts; they're typically too loud, or I don't like fighting the crowds, but this outdoor concert just off the train line was awesome!  I didn't realize how many of their songs I knew by heart.

9. Moved into my own apartment.  I got my own place in southwest Charlotte, not too far from work, not too far from cheap gas in South Carolina, and fairly close to a nature preserve that has been the subject of much of my photography, which I'll mention later.

8. Broke into (and out of) management.  Professionally, this was a big one, as I had never been in an official supervisor capacity before.  Suddenly having 70 to 80 people under my direct management was an incredible experience that required me to learn quickly, and assess how I communicate with different types of people and adapt quickly to various situations.  I left on a high note, though; after months of being on call nonstop, my decision to leave management wasn't because I didn't like it, or was unsuccessful, but because I was able to turn something I love into something I do professionally.

7. Movies, movies, movies!  2008 was a great year for movies; my top 3 are easily Iron Man, Wall-E, and The Dark Knight, although there are several others that are notable.  Tropic Thunder, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Hellboy II, Quantum of Solace, Be Kind Rewind, Wanted, and You Don't Mess with the Zohan round out my top 10.  I know some of them are quirky and a bit low-brow, but no one ever accused me of being a Cannes movie critic, I just know what I like. 

6. Spent two weeks in California.  I had never been further west than Oklahoma until this year, and the opportunity came with my new job to spend two weeks in Silicon Valley for training.  After everything I had ever seen, read, or heard about California, from what I have seen, I only want to spend more time there.  San Francisco is an incredible city, and being at the center of America's technology sector was like a dream.  I have photos that I still have not sorted through, and the people I met were all intelligent, relaxed, and good-natured.  If I spend too much time out there, I may end up being a west coast guy after all.

5. Read a lot of good books.  I haven't even counted, but this year I read more sci-fi than ever, focusing on Robert Heinlein, Cory Doctorow, William Gibson, and other cyber age fiction authors.  Their writing inspires me to think, to re-imagine the world we live in, and look at it with optimism and hope, although many of the stories show a future with neither.  I just found out that Gibson grew up in a small town only 30 miles from my hometown, and that his frustration living in an area stuck in the past motivated him to write about the future.  I can understand that concept completely, and it is most likely why his writing has appealed to me so much.

4. Discovered the joy of photography.  I had a camera before, but this year I bought a Camera, and worked damn hard to learn how to use it.  Through the lens, I have discovered a creative side of me that I did not know was there, and have found it to be an expressive release.  After California, I have backed off a bit, but come spring you can bet there will be many more photos to come.

3. Turned a hobby (technology) into a profession.  When I bought my first computer in 2002, just after I graduated the police academy, I had no idea that in just a few years, I would be making a living repairing them.  Ironically, it was a hard drive failure in 2003 that started me on the path to learn more about computers, how they work, and how to use them better, that eventually brought me to work part time as a specialist and now full time as a technician.  When I have a computer in front of me, I can almost feel how the electricity is running through it, how the hard drive is spinning, and how the bits of data are running in and out of memory.  I am far from knowing everything there is to know, but I feel comfortable with them, coming a long way from that one and only call to a tech support center in fall of 2003 that frustrated me enough to learn how to do it myself.  Being able to get paid for that is awesome, and one of the best things of 2008.

2. Built new friendships and strengthened relationships with my family.  Through work and around Charlotte, I have been fortunate enough to meet many interesting people and build friendships I hope will develop further in 2009.  Holly and I have been dating over a year now, as well, and we have a relationship that I value greatly.  Living less than a mile from my aunt has also enabled me to be there for her when she and her husband went through a challenging time with a death in their family, and the trust I have built with them is irreplaceable to me.  Seeing my mother and father recently become dog owners is warming to me, because I think the addition of Dash to our family will help them to be more complete in their own lives.  Overall, I relish the people around me, and take joy in their happiness and success.  I haven't always been this close to others, and I am working constantly to keep up socially, but I have learned the value in doing so.

1. Watched the sun set on the Pacific (and photographed it).  Ever since I have watched the sun rise on the Atlantic, I have wanted to watch the sun set on the Pacific Ocean.  You could call it one of my life goals; something I had to do before I died.  While in California, I took a rental car on my own out to Half Moon Bay Beach on a perfect afternoon, and watched the sun set on the beach.  Those hours spent are among the most peaceful and happy of my life, and to take it a step further, they are all recorded through photo and video.  When the sun set too low to take any more photos, I hopped back in the rental car, kicked the moon roof back, and took a leisurely drive down Highway 1, the Pacific Coast highway, for the rest of the time the sun was setting.  Overall, it was the perfect afternoon, and among the best days of my life, making it number one on this list from 2008. 

2009

The year ahead:

After such a great year in 2008, how do I follow this up in 2009?  I have some ideas for improvement:

1.  Lose weight.  Toward the end of 2008, I got sick, and even had to go to the hospital for a mild complication with my heart.  I am still seeing a cardiologist, and we are going through a holter monitor, stress testing, and all of that good stuff, but all roads lead to one thing, I have to drop weight.  I am already off to a good start from the last three weeks.  I am exercising regularly, eating right, and have adjusted to a new diet and healthier eating habits.  Mentally, I am back into a weight-loss mode, and I am beginning to feel better again.  However, I have a long way to go.  My weight has topped anything I had ever peaked at before, and I have made a solid promise to myself to never be near to what I am right now again when I get it off.  Because the severity of my weight gain has been so much, I have equated it to death.  If I stay at my current weight, I will die.  In that spirit, as a sort of motivation to get it down, I thought about the most fun thing that I have always wanted to do, but have not done because of money, weight, or fear, because, if I stay at this weight and I die, I might as well die having fun if I lose it, right?  Anyway, the idea is this, if I get below 220, I'm buying a motorcycle.  I haven't decided what kind, but I have always wanted to ride a motorcycle, and this is an opportunity to fulfill two life dreams at once; to get back in shape, and to have a motorcycle.  I will be writing more about this later, and may possibly have a website detailing the idea, talking about my actual weight loss process, but for now, you get the drift.

2.  Learn as much as possible and gain experience at my job.  This would seem like a no-brainer, but you would be surprised at how many people just go through their work lives and get complacent, reaching a level of competence and never pursuing more.  I want this to be my career, what I'm doing now and beyond, whoever I work for and wherever it will lead.  To do that, I am going to have to build upon the knowledge I already have and work even harder to take it to the next level, to be prepared down the road when I want to do something more.  I don't think I will immediately pursue any more certifications aside from the ones I have already earned, because it would be spending money for nothing in my current position, but I am thinking about dabbling in a bit of programming and network systems architecture and management.  I know that web development is also the wave of the future, so I would be amiss if I did not consider learning more about that.  I have a friend pursuing his degree with online courses, and I have thought about taking a couple of online courses just to learn more in my current role.

3.  Enjoy 2009 even more than 2008.  I want to start enjoying each year better than the last, which I know is a tall order in the journey of life, but I do know that last year was better than the year before, and I want to keep the trend going.  I can achieve this in large part by completing the first two goals of this year, but there are a couple more things I can do.  I want to continue to build friendships and enjoy my family.  I am considering adding a dog or cat to my own household. Finally, I want to continue enjoying my hobbies, photography, movies, and reading, which have consistently provided me with entertainment and satisfaction. 

I'm still trying to figure out why I look so pissed in this picture...

Summation

Putting it all together, I have had a great 2008, and I am looking forward to seeing how 2009 comes together.  I have a lot of great things happening, and plan to keep the ball rolling into the new year.  Now that I am past this post, I am going to keep adding some additional content, links, and new photos/videos of what life brings.  Thanks for reading, commenting, and being a part of my life.

New "Best of" tag...

Last weekend, I began going through the archives and tagging some of the older posts. Having been a Blogger user quite a while before labels were added, my earliest posts did not carry any tags at all. Also, while going through some of the early posts, from the first year or so, I noticed there is really nothing much of note until the beginning of the second year of this blog.

As there are now over 300 posts on this blog, I wanted to add some way to find some of the better posts I have written. I have reviewed all of the posts in the archive, and where appropriate, whether by traffic, comment, or personal favorite, added the "best of" label to appropriate posts. This was almost purely subjective on my own part, but it's my blog, so I get to make that decision. I may have missed one or two that should be on there, and there may be a couple that I remove over time, but for now, it is a quick and easy way to see some of the better stuff here. Granted, even my "best of" isn't all that good, but it's what I have.

I am adding a link along the left margin of the page to my link section for the best of label, or you can follow this link.

Catching up on yesterday...

Yesterday, I went to the second interview with the company I saw on Monday. In a nutshell, let's put it that the only thing almost as bad as cold-calling as a telemarketer must be cold-calling in person as a "marketing representative". Granted, I rode along with them the entire day, saw what they did, even spoke up a couple of times, but even their commission projections were below the low end of what I have in mind. Nonetheless, I have a couple of new leads on prospective jobs, and I am still cranking out resumes like nobody's business.


After the fun time at the interview, I met some nice folks at Big Ben's on Providence for dinner, drinks, and trivia. We tied for first on the first of four rounds, and just kind of died off after that. The photo is of me holding the team prize for the first round. Considering there were nine of us at that point of the night, it went to our event coordinator, Peter, a really cool British guy.
As you can see from the photo above, I am actually trying to smile. I noticed as I was going through some photos a couple of weeks ago that I have very few where I am honestly smiling, teeth and all. Since then, I have been working on the smile, channeling some Billy Dee Williams into my groove.

Aww yeah!

Today, I was up early and working more on the job hunt. I applied for four more jobs and made a call to find out about another from a friend. The biggest surprise came tonight when I received a message about a potential job in a field I had thought about briefly, but had no idea how to get into it. Apparently, I have made a connection somewhere and tonight I was able to put some things into motion to find out more. The only catch is, if I get into it, I can never talk about it. I make it a point never to write about job details on my blog anyway, but this field goes a bit further than that; I will not even be able to say exactly what I am doing. Thankfully, it is not undercover work, and no, I am not exploring that professional killer idea...yet, anyway...

The Saga of Miss South Carolina, Part 2-The Today Show...

A couple of days ago, I posted a video of a very confused Miss South Carolina attempting to answer a question about the education system in America. She visited The Today Show in the aftermath, and her interview was rather enlightening...

So, as it turns out, she is going to Appalachian State University for graphic design. That's going to place our lovely Miss South Carolina connected right alongside another jewel of the internet; who can forget that "Appalachian is HOT, HOT, HOT!"

Something tells me she is going to be just fine at that school...

Regarding the interview today...

Dear Mr. H,

Your ad and email both looked good. Both made reference to a reputable insurance company, and it left the impression that the "interview" we had scheduled was an honest opportunity with said company. You construed everything to be up front, and I was actually excited, thinking it would be worth the drive and the time to meet, even after you called last week to reschedule for a week later.
I found your office, and walked inside on time. Odd that you didn't have a receptionist, as I had spoken with her before. There were five of us at first, four after one left because we were kept waiting for over five minutes. Meanwhile, we heard your meeting in the other room, especially when you knocked on the office of one of your coworkers and told him you needed help. We watched and heard as he came out and yelled at you that he was on the phone with corporate. Who wants to be around that? That guy then realized we were all watching, and he took our resumes as you crammed us into the overbooked presentation room.
Although I thought I had come for an interview, at the end you called it an orientation. I called it a total waste of my time. First, I honestly had to rethink my directions and make sure I was at the right place, because it did not seem like the same job you had mentioned online and by email. In fact, I wasn't completely sure until you got about halfway through your slides and there was finally mention of the company in the original email as one of your secondary providers.
Let's talk about the slides for a moment. How in the world are you really in sales for as long as you claim and not know how to operate a PowerPoint presentation? Not to mention, you said you were a teacher before you were in sales. Granted, you may never have used a computer back then, but if you're going to do a somewhat effective presentation, here are a few of my bare minimum tips:

1. Learn a couple of keyboard shortcuts. Right clicking during your slideshow and clicking 'Next' is not the most efficient way to move to the next slide. Try 'Enter', 'Spacebar', or even 'N' next time. Even 'P' takes you back one. Give it a try next time. Hell, if you are really making all the money you claim, run on down to Worst Buy or Short Circuit City, chat with one of the people in the blue or red shirts, and get them to sell you a nice little remote to keep you from awkwardly turning your back on the whole room through the whole presentation.
   
2. Try to review your slideshow before you make your presentation. This goes back to the five p's: Poor Practice Prohibits Proper Performance. Know what you're looking at before you show someone else, that way you don't have to read the slide at the same time they do, then talk about it after everyone has already read it. I don't think you said anything that I could not have drawn from the slides themselves. Strike that; anything useful or positive. You said plenty, just not plenty important. Also, repeatedly apologizing for not seeing the slides in advance does not make up for it. Either just say it once and let that be it, or even just try to play it off and do your best with what you have.
3. Pace yourself. I think this one was actually caused by your ineptitude with the first two tips, but it deserves mention here based on its own contribution to your presentation. You had a few slides in the presentation that had quite a bit of financial and graphical data. Granted, as useless as these charts probably were anyway, I couldn't help but notice that on a couple of occasions, you either accidentally or purposely skipped or sped through them. You would talk about a slide, then when you got to it, would promptly skip on to the next. You tried to cover it up, but it came across anyway. When you suddenly skip over a slide without explanation, it makes people wonder what you were skipping.

Finally, this one is more of a general sales thing, you can take it or leave it. I mean, what do I know, I am just a guy looking for a sales job, not an actual highly trained sales professional such as yourself.

• Never, EVER, refer to your product as the something of anything else. You called your product the "Costco of health insurance". I cannot describe the utter revulsion that I felt when you made that reference to your product. I may end up selling pig manure fertilizer to make a living, but no matter what I sell, I will never refer to any product like you did yours today.

As soon as I realized what I had walked into, I had to resist three urges. The first was the one to get up punch you across the face; I think a good right hook would have done it. The second was to strangle your buddy standing behind me that was already halfway choking on the tie constricted around his neck. I thought Darth Vader was standing behind me. The third was just to get up and walk out, but I saved that one until you actually finished your "orientation". I do have manners.
Speaking of manners, let's go back to the issue about the room being overcrowded. You had a lot of people that showed up for this, and I am sure they all thought the same thing I did; I could see it on their faces. You are bound to have an idea of how many people that room can hold; it is your office, so perhaps it should have occurred to you to only request the number of people to show that will actually fit in the room. I was the last person to be seated in the room, yet a few minutes after arrived, several more showed up in your reception area. When asked what to do with these people that arrived at your request, you told your coworker to reschedule their appointments and come back another time. Be glad I was in the door already, because I seriously would have been angry; certainly even more angry if I had shown up, rescheduled, and come back just to find out what I did today on the first trip. As it was, I sat there, heard you out, and at the end, simply got up and left without a word, for fear that any word from me at that time would not have been a good one.
Now you have my resume, and you have my phone number. If you call, you will hear what I thought about your "interview". Hope that I never get contacted by survey by your company, because I will send them a link to this very article describing the tactics you used to bring me in the door, and the poor circumstances I found that brought me to leave. If you had been honest, none of it would have happened, and I would have been much more likely to have listened and given full consideration to your offer. As it stands, you were a fraud and a disappointment.

Sincerely,
Alex Cox

Statistical evidence!!!

Women "lie, cheat and steal" - News - Manchester Evening News


Here are some of the better excerpts:

HALF of all women would lie to their husbands or partners to keep their relationship going if they became pregnant by another man, a survey said today.

Figures showed one woman in two would not tell her man that the baby she was carrying was not his - if she wanted to stay with him.

They also said four out of ten (42%) would lie about contraception in order to get pregnant, in spite of the wishes of their partner.

The new survey of women's attitudes to truth, relationships, and behaviour, said the overwhelming majority (96%) admit to lying.

This one is just plain scary:

An alarming 31% of all women say they would not tell a future partner if they had a sexual disease. This rises for 65% for single women.

Here are more fun stats:

Eight out of ten women (83%) admit to telling "big, life-changing lies", with 13% saying they do so frequently.

Partners (70%) are most likely to be lied to by women, with friends (65%), parents (64%), customers and clients (58%) and bosses (57%) also being deceived.

With all of these stats, here is one that is surprisingly lower:

A fifth of women with a long-term partner (19%) say they have cheated on him by having an affair, while 30% of all women have had an affair with a married man.

Yet, after all of this:

Most women (68%) do not trust their partner.

Is that really a big surprise?

So, statistically speaking, if you want a totally honest woman, you have a 4% shot.
If you want a single woman you can be sure will let you know if she has a disease, you have a 35% chance. Better keep the condoms handy, guys.
Yet, you still have an 81% chance she won't have an affair, but only 32% will trust you.
And if you're married, congratulations, 30% of all women would still have an affair with you.
Well, at least now I have some odds on hand for next time around.

Black and white...

I was told recently that I tend to see things in black and white. It has been a bit since that statement was made, but I have since put some thought into that and the way in which it was used to describe me. In the context which it was used, it was a statement regarding the way which I view life, and things in stark contrast as either right or wrong.
At first, I did not take this statement in the best of ways, in part due to the circumstances under which it was said, but also because in the manner it described, it also implied that I do not make allowances or understanding for things that fall outside the parameters of that contrast. After giving it some thought, however, I have come to accept the statement as one that very accurately describes at least a part of what I am and how I perceive the world.
Admittedly, much of how I see moral issues is divided between things I see as right and things I see as wrong. The basis for that assessment comes from a number of sources in my past, childhood, religion, parenting, friends, law, and later experiences, and my own choices. Ultimately, I do believe there is a right and wrong that exists apart from my own understanding outside and above myself, a higher authority, that I believe that I will be answerable to someday for my own actions. Seeing things in black and white to me means having that knowledge that there are ultimate rights and wrongs; whether I am aligned with them, or live my life in that way, is completely another matter.
In my life, I have done many things that I consider are completely wrong, even evil. I have lied, hurt, cheated, and been dishonorable. Even more, I have hated, and on more than one occasion I have had to control my own desires to commit unspeakable acts. If acts were by thought alone, I would be guilty of those many times over. Through the rest of my life, I am sure that I will commit many more. I am far from perfect, and while I may see things in terms of right and wrong, it does not mean that I am a saint. What it means is that even when I do the wrong thing, I know and I understand completely that I am doing something wrong, or worse. I do not delude myself, or justify my actions to myself because of what I have been through, or what others have done to me. If I do wrong, I am crystal clear that I am doing it by my own decision and that it is a bad thing to do. I hold myself as accountable for the things I do wrong as much for the things I do right.
Right now, I am at a point in my life where I am still working to do the right thing, if at all possible. I am far from perfect, and my actions are still not where I would like them to be. I work to control the parts of me that want otherwise, rather than give in and tell myself that they are the right thing to do. I strive to keep the clarity of right and wrong, if not the actions.
Further, this is my own standard that I bear. I do not hold anyone else responsible for it as much as their own actions are by their own conscience. What I do look for in others around me are their own strength to try to live by their own standard, and at least have a standard by which to live.
There are some gray areas in life. There are times that the law is not necessarily right, or something completely wrong is still lawful. As a moral question, when is it right to lie? When is it wrong to tell the truth? Those to me are fairly simple, and maybe that is what is wrong with me in this world.
So, admittedly, I do see the world in mostly in black and white. It is probably one of the most true statements ever made about me, and coming from someone that was pretty close, shows a pretty good understanding of part of my personality. For as long as I live, I pray this never changes, because if I ever lost that clarity, I shudder at what I could lose, at what I could justify, and at what I could do, if I did not have that direction to try to keep pushing my life toward. As it stands, if everything was taken from me today, I would still have that much about me that is good to hold onto.
So, thanks for the compliment. I will wear it with pride for a long time to come.

Doing better today...

So, after a long past two days and a fiasco of a meeting yesterday morning, I recovered today and had a much better day. I went around the Huntersville and Cornelius area, seeing all of the new buildings and stores that have come in since I was here last, and checking out some of the back roads and ways to get around the place here. One day this week, I'm going to head out to the nearby dam and take some photos, but I'd like it to be at one of the better times of day for light.

Tomorrow is going to be great. My aunt is off, so we'll be hanging out most of the day, having lunch with my mother, and probably apartment hunting. I think the university area will be more my speed than out in the burbs. Hopefully I won't have a bad commute either.
Tomorrow night, I have a meet and greet sort of thing. I usually get nervous going to meet a group of strangers. You hope you meet people that you'll have things in common with, and begin some sort of communication. You hope you fit in. The funny part is, you'll never know until you go, and it is almost never as bad as you worry it will be.

I have a house plant that I bought a couple of years ago, when I was moving back into my own apartment after my separation. That poor plant has been through a bit since. I have put it in pitiful condition and have had to bring it back several times, but have kept it with me, and for the most part actually remembered to water and take care of it. I know, it's a plant, it's not hard. For me, the watering thing can be a challenge. I lost a really nice peace lily because of that once.
As I was leaving the house in Ann Arbor the other day, I happened to glance in the dining room where this plant sat. Yet again, it had slumped over and some of the smaller leaves were turning brown. I felt like total shit. Here was this poor thing, that had been around through some really bad times, and I had totally neglected it. Again, I know, it's a plant. So, after watering it, it was the last thing that came in the car for the trip down. The water perked it up a bit, and some light yesterday helped it more, but I knew it was bound to have out grown the pot it was in.
One of my stops today was Home Depot, where I picked up a nice pot and some potting soil. I don't think I have repotted a plant since primary school (they teach that sort of thing in the rural south), but I remember the most of it. Again, it's a plant. So I get back and I set everything up, and I have the new pot ready with some new soil, I pull up the plant from the old pot, and sure enough, the roots had completely spread through the old pot. Now the next part is obvious, you have to clean the old soil out from around the roots, and get the roots ready to be put into the new soil.
I start doing this, and I have a good pile of old dirt going, when I realize that exactly as I am doing with this plant, I am doing with my life. My roots have nowhere left to go in Ann Arbor, and I am not flourishing there. So in replanting my life, I have to clean off the old soil, and be ready to take into the new. I have to make sure there is space to grow, and that the same conditions that caused Michigan to be such a mess do not happen again here.
By the time this hit me, I was just standing there holding a plant with a bunch of exposed root in my hand. With care, and a bit more thought than I had initially given the task, I put the plant into the new soil and pot. After watering it, I realized that the next part is on the plant. Hopefully, the roots will take, and the soil will work well, and it will do well in the new pot.
What I gained today, aside from hopefully a healthier plant, was another reminder of what I have been through, and what I have to look ahead for. I got back some of my optimism today, which is what I will need in the weeks ahead.

I think there are still those that need this instructional video...

Coming out of the closet...

I have had a secret that has been privy to only my closest friends and family for many years. I have held it in shame since my early teens, when I became aware that it set me apart from the norm in the area I grew up. Every now and then, others have figured out my little secret through little slips, things I would say, or a point of view I might have that doesn't really fit with the exterior that I have projected over the years. As I have matured in life, I was hoping this would be something that would pass. I hoped I could go on with a "normal" life and put away the things of my past.
Perhaps it is living in a different area. Being around a more relaxed culture, and more people here that share in what I have considered my own secret that now causes me to come out and openly declare to anyone who will read.

I am a major nerd. Geek. Dork. Dweeb. Poindexter. Pocket protector jockey. That's me.

There. That part of it is out now.

I realize that the close observer had clues; my favorites lists on my Myspace page are a big giveaway. I think that is about the main giveaway I've had all these years.

So, what kind of geek am I? Well, let me count the ways.

I think it started with comic books. I blame that on my mother. She is a geek herself, but I think in her younger years she had even more limited access to media and like minds than I had. Thanks to my mother, my first memory is seeing Superman II at a movie theater when I was 3. Extreme early memory, I know, but that was the impression it left. The first book I could read on my own was a well weathered Spider-Man children's book. After that, my mother would get me comics as a reward, or even a just because sort of treat. Secretly, I think she enjoyed them as much as I did.
Next up on the list was my early interest in taking things apart to figure out how they work. I have been told a story of when someone bought me a digital watch I had been wanting when I was around 5 years old (I think wanting a watch at 5 is a sign unto itself). As the story goes, I had it all of five minutes before I took it apart to figure out how it worked.
Then, there were cartoons and toys. I grew up in the action figure golden era in the 80's of He-Man, GI Joe, and the ultimate toy for any curious young boy as myself, Transformers.
Then, there was Star Trek. Not the original, Kirk kicks alien ass Star Trek, but the utopian Star Trek of my age, The Next Generation. I remember sitting down to watch the pilot episode on a Saturday night, and from there I was hooked.
Through intermediate school, my favorite classes were my science classes. I took advanced courses in BASIC, LOGO, and even tagged along with my aunt to a computer class at her college where I remember having something to say in the class. I had a really clear interest. I would get those Radio Shack electronics kits and learn to wire circuits and electromagnets. I built model jets and cars.
I was into a lot of technical stuff at a young age, but I also began to have some social problems. As my teenage years hit, my social problems became greater than my other interests, and I began to do the things that truly interested me less and less due to a desire to fit in. I never really found anyone like me that I wanted to be around in my area. There were a couple of guys that were really, really, smart, but I didn't quite fall into their area either. So, I kind of sold out and went with the crowd. I'd like to say part of it was a shitty seventh grade science teacher that about killed all interest in science for me, but ultimately, it was a really great seventh grade civics teacher that turned on my interest in law.
Now I have found that I have never really stopped being that dorky kid that took apart the first watch I was ever given. I still like computers, sci fi, and thrive on various documentaries and other edutainment. I'll peruse Discover and Scientific American if I get a chance, and have a subscription to Wired running three years now. I have a shelf full of fantasy books and I love going to Renaissance fairs. I understand Hawking and quantum theory, and I've managed to keep hold of my coin and comic book collections through all of my moves and changes. I like tinkering with things, and I can take apart, upgrade, and repair computers like second nature. I run Linux, for Christ's sake.

So, why have I still been in denial about this to everyone? I think I still have some of the fear that I will not fit in that I did when in my early teens. I am almost 30 years old now. There are some things in my life that, as they have been here this long, will be here for years to come, probably the rest of my life. It's time for me to accept what I am and roll with it. So, here is to not being afraid to be me now. I am still everything I was yesterday. Just in my line of things that I admit to being, cheap, asshole, etc, I'll now openly add geek to that list.

Conflict...

You would think a guy like me would be used to this by now. 13 years of working with the public, dealing with some of the worst sides of human nature, I should be used to being in a position that brings me into conflict with people on a daily basis. Why do I feel so weary of it at the end of the day? I think my problem with conflict is that at my core, I am a genuine nice guy. I could live my life in peace and harmony with about anybody as long as they did not overstep my boundaries. I gave up on caring about what other people do to screw up their own lives several years ago.
So here I am, in another position where I am in an adversarial role, and I feel like I am heading back into the same issues I was before. Maybe my ideal job is to be a hermit. My girlfriend suggested that there is a vacancy in the unibomber role in the US right now, but I am not really big on the retirement plan. Besides, the whole evil mastermind deal isn't my thing. I'm a nice guy. Although there are a few names...
Anyway, visions of the few people I wouldn't mind seeing dead aside, I am not sure if I am ruthless enough to do what I am doing. Maybe I am too compassionate, or try to place myself into others' shoes too readily.
So, what to do now... For now, I am still going to work at it. Maybe I will come around, maybe I won't. I am not going to quit. There is a reason they call it a day job, and as long as it is paying the bills, it isn't totally bad for me. I still feel like I need something that supports my soul as well.
I think I will find it someday. I think it is what I am moving toward. I have a pretty good life going up here, and I enjoy every minute of my personal time.
I think I am writing this to get on track and find my heading. As a friend I have made at work likes to put it, you have to find what gets you from your point A to your point B. I had to explain to him that right now my point B is best represented as a line symbolic of any number of satisfactory outcomes. It could be illustrated like this:
If I'm not in the gray, though, I think I am close.

Black Friday and IKEA...

Thanksgiving is over and the hell known as Black Friday is here. The news said it is known as Black Friday because it is the day most retail stores go "in the black", or become profitable, for the calendar year. The common man considers Black Friday as a preview of what hell will be; overcrowded, bad parking, and being offered everything your heart desires, but never getting it because the guy in front of you just picked up the last one. The common woman, on the other hand, views Black Friday as an opportunity to finish the Christmas shopping she started in July, and to buy things she otherwise would never have bought were it not for the ridiculously low prices that one day of the year.
Over the past few years, I have generally avoided Black Friday. Ever since a debacle at Wal-Mart where I had to hold a $58.00 bicycle over my head to get through the swarms of people and out the store, I decided I'll pay full price, thank you very much.
Like many men, though, I am guilty of having a poor memory, and this year I have been reminded why I call Black Friday "Alex's Official Stay at Home and Watch DVDs Friday".
Like any Black Friday experience, this one began with a sale. I have been without a nice black jacket for several years, since losing one on a trip with my Uncle to South Carolina. After much searching, I found one that fit my vision, and lo, it was on sale Black Friday for 40% off. Kristy, always up for adventure, offered to go with me to the mall, and check out a few stores for herself as well. Much to my surprise, this particular outlet mall was not that bad. Parking was decent, but aside from a packed to the walls Old Navy, it was almost like any other Saturday.
Suckered in, I brought Kristy home, and decided to venture back out to pick up an elevated countertop at Ikea for a kitchen island we just bought from there. Ikea is usually busy on weekends, so I was prepared for a little bit of a crowd. I think my parking space was two zip codes away from the store. Having driven a good distance, and not wanting to go home empty handed, I tread forward, going through the crowd, being cursed with knowing exactly what I wanted yet trying to get through a good couple hundred people that didn't. Yet, may I add, although I was getting through the crowd, I was nice about it. This issue comes to play later in the story.
I got to the kitchen section and got the purchase order for my needed countertop and brackets. Form in hand, I proceeded through the rest of the furniture showroom, and got to the area of the store with smaller items for sale. I picked up a shopping bag to get a few more things for the kitchen, and walked to an aisle to find coasters. The aisle was on the far left from the center aisle, where people passing through were walking. Two people were already cramping the aisle, so I was waiting behind them to get in it. Another woman was coming toward me from a perpendicular aisle, and I moved to let her walk past me. Then, I heard "excuse me" behind me.
Now, I should add here, lest I get questioned on it later, I do sometimes say "excuse me" myself when I am stuck behind someone, the way is otherwise clear, and they just aren't paying attention to anything else going on in the world around them. I say it, I wait, and if they move, I go, and if they don't, I walk around. End of story. So, when I heard "excuse me" behind me, that would not be something I would take offense about, I would just move out of the way and go on. However, as I said, I had just cleared the way for a much smaller woman to walk past me.
So, I heard "excuse me", behind me, and since the lady was about to walk by me, I said, rather, began to say "hang on just a..." but I never got the rest out. I got pushed from behind right into the woman I had just cleared the way to pass.
The next thing I should mention is that Ikea Canton is kind of near Detroit. Being in such proximity to an area with Detroit's reputation, you begin to adjust your thinking about conflict, and actions which may seem rather mundane, or at most offensive, with the consideration that you may end up shot where you stand. Thus, there are a lot of things in life you let pass. Someone cuts you off in traffic; you let it pass. Someone is yelling obscenities into their cell phone; you let it pass. The argument could be made that if someone has the mental judgment to see a guy my size, and think "I'll just push him out of the way", that the guy knows more about what he has than you do, and again, you should just let it pass. I'm not quite to that point yet.
I checked on the woman to make sure she was fine, and as the man and his wife were walking on, I yelled "you're an asshole" at him. Where I'm from, that is enough to at least get someone's attention. I've seen people almost beat to death for less. Legally, they are called "fighting words". They are not constitutionally protected speech, and back in Virginia, I could have a class IV misdemeanor warrant sworn out against me for them.
Today though, I am not a cop anymore, I am definitely not in Virginia, and I don't really care about his right not to be called an asshole because he didn't care about my right not to be pushed into someone, or that woman's right not to have a much larger man pushed into her. What bothers me now, afterward, is there was a part of me that wanted him to turn around and escalate it further. I said it because I was angry, I felt wronged, and by God, if he wanted to take out some of his crap on me, I wanted to give some back. So it was, when I got my reaction, I almost felt disappointment. He waved.
He just put his hand up and waved, almost like saying "my bad". I hate that phrase, "my bad". It is totally bereft of any sort of remorse, regret, or recompense. It just barely accepts responsibility for negative actions. I got the non-verbal equivalent of "my bad". I would have been more satisfied had he at least waved a middle finger.
Now the ball was back in my court. There was nothing else to do but let it pass. There are people that are just going to be assholes. Let them be assholes.
I eventually got out of Ikea, and even went on to yet another store. The Men's Wearhouse is remarkable peaceful on Black Friday, go figure. Now, I am back at the house, reflecting on the day, and swearing upon all that is right in this world I will not venture out on Black Friday ever again. Until I forget about it next year.

If you build it, they will tax it...

BBC- US Congress steps into cyberspace

The Joint Economic Committee (JEC) of the US Congress has announced it is investigating the amount of commerce taking place in virtual game worlds.

Uh oh.

The investigation is unlikely to mean that in-game trading will start to be taxed.

Sure.

Although an economic value can be put on this trade because in-game currencies do have an equivalent real world value, committee chairman Jim Saxton said its investigation was not being carried out with a view to slapping taxes on this trade.

Then, why?

Instead, he said, the investigation wanted to get a better understanding of where the line falls between taxable and non-taxable trade.

Is that not the same as saying you are deciding if you should or should not tax something?

The JEC statement said: "Clearly, virtual economies represent an area where technology has outpaced the law. The goal of the forthcoming JEC study is to help lawmakers understand the issues involved and head off any premature attempt to impose a tax on virtual economies."

Because lawmakers are good at reading and interpreting studies, polls, and statistics, and will most likely collectively see the issue the same way you do.

The bottom line:

Studies of game activity suggest the time and effort put into these online worlds has an economic impact equivalent to the GDP of Namibia.

$$$$KA-CHING$$$$

Congress would not be poking around at this unless there was some way to make money off it. Online, you have many examples of micro economies that have developed in recent years, and it is fascinating to watch and learn. That a few of these economies now have exchange rates to real world currency is a testament to the quality of the games and the consumer value they have earned. There are lessons to be learned by studying these systems, but perhaps the biggest one could be having an insight into tax free economic systems.
However, long term, do not not be surprised if laws pass prohibiting the tax-free exchange of currency from virtual economies. It will most likely come under the auspices of law preventing human rights violations from gold farming sweatshops in China or something, but it will come regardless. Even funnier, would be if Congress actually passed the idea of taxation onto the developers of some of these games, and little taxation republics started collecting in game. A greedy company, on top of all other sales and fees, could collect a nice little kickback for themselves as long as they manipulated the exchange rate properly(limiting availability of funds, controlling items, etc). The game Second Life is already similar to a tax based system, because landowners have to be a premium account holder, and fees are related to the size of land parcel they "own". You can play the game without paying that fee, and you could see the value of paying the fee as going to server usage and storage capacity, kind of like your real estate taxes go for infrastructure.
Back on track, the thing about politicians is they begin to get antsy around any open, unregulated system that appears to work. The entire nature of the job is the creation of laws to better society. As it stands, there are few in government that would run on a platform to take laws off the books. That is why we have so many stupid, outdated, and unenforced laws still around today; no one is removing them. While they are out commissioning studies and committees for things like this, why doesn't Congress commission a committee of legislation evaluation and withdrawal? Why not take a look around and see where we could trim the fat off the codes a bit, and make it a little cheaper for law students to buy books in the process?

All Cox's, be careful what you name your children...

It was pretty tough dealing with the implications of being named 'Alex Cox' in high school (teenagers have such dirty minds), so I have always known if I were to ever procreate, it would be most important to consider the name by all angles. The most obvious violation would be Sharon (which, oddly, I have a cousin by this name), but also to be avoided would be Harold or Richard. Older names are especially cause for consideration. Perusing through an old name book, you can find names like 'Hugh' and 'Everard', neither of which would be appropriate with the Cox surname. Just be careful, and think it through parents. The life you ruin is not your own. Even if it is funny.

*photo is from Collegehumor.com

This looks promising for the future of Microsoft security...

I installed Internet Explorer 7 Release Candidate this afternoon, after hearing much of the buzz around the net today. Microsoft keeps touting how they are doing better with security, but after seeing this screen during installation, I'm not too sure...



Should they really need me to disable my antivirus and antispyware to install a web browser? Although the risk is probably negligible, as long as I'm not surfing along in another program during the install, no other program I have ever installed has required this.

Hilarious site...

Star Trek Inspirational Posters

I have never really been much of a fan of the original Star Trek. My first interest in sci-fi may have spawned from my mother's interest in the series, but I did not start to catch on until The Next Generation started, and from there I was hooked. The inspirational posters phenomenon was also something that came too early for me to really be exposed to, aside from specialty shops at the mall. Thankfully, I have never worked in a place that had those up, optimistically hoping they would have some effect on the productivity of the employees. What I do love, and have enjoyed for as long as I remember, is good satire. You just can't beat taking someone else's creation and shitting all over it, er, paying due homage and respect to the original work. This site was linked on Slashdot this morning, and while I know several of you that read this blog have no idea of what Slashdot is, I thought I would post a couple here for you, and give you a link to check it out.
If you like the Star Trek goodness, ThinkGeek has another series of takeoffs on the inspirational posters, that while not necessarily increasing productivity, might help with morale a bit at work.
Many thanks for Star Trek Inspirational Posters for allowing the reposting of content on this page.

World War III and the end of everything... NOT!!!

The past few days have been a blur thanks to work. I do not know if it is the heat of summer, or simply something in the air, but this has been the busiest week at work I have had in a long time. Being busy in my business usually does not bode well, but after my sixth midnight, which turned into a nice fourteen hour marathon, the casualties have been kept to a minimum.
After recovering most of the afternoon (comatose sleeping), I got up and went to town. I have to run up to Wytheville tomorrow, and I went ahead and put some gas in the car. Returning home, I caught a couple of shows on television, and thought I would finally come up here to write a little before bed.
I have not had much time for the news the past few days. There have been a couple of small things in the local news I was informed about by my coworkers, and I saw some video of the President in a private conversation with Tony Blair, then attempting to massage a woman’s shoulders, much to her dismay; but the stand out news clip I heard were a few sound bytes about “World War III”.
The idea came from Newt Gengrich of all people, editorializing on the news about labeling this conflict World War III.
World War III. This is supposed to be the big one, the war to end us all. After the nuclear devastation at the end of World War II, many believed that future conflicts would be nuclear in nature, and decades passed with the world living in fear of annihilation. WWIII is a notion that multitudes of books and movies have been made about, most depicting the end of life as we know it.
This notion has begun to catch on with other pundits and news heads already. It has almost become a competition of who gets to call it that first, just in case the conflict actually becomes something being worthy of calling “World War III”. Perhaps the effects of the label will be worse, actually creating a bit of self-fulfilling prophecy and contributing to the worsening of the crisis. I mean, if those in power come to truly believe this is “World War III-Death, Destruction, and the end of Everything.”, will peaceful negotiation and options really be approached in the same way?
For those of you staring open mouth at the computer screen wondering when I’m buying my floral print VW bus, don’t fear, I am not taking up a picket sign and heading to Washington, yet. I just think that we really need to keep things in perspective at this crucial time, and exercise discipline in our own minds about who our enemies are, and the proper way of dealing with them.
We have conflicts in Afghanistan and Iraq, but their respective governments are of our own creation for the time being. Our military presence is ensuring their stability, but there are various factions that would love to see us leave so they can re-establish their own government again.
Israel is attacking Lebanon, who have been no friends to us, but showed great signs of cooperation and de-escalation during the beginning of the second Iraq war.
Syria has plenty of terrorists and dissidents from Iraq, but has few resources to be of any real threat.
Our big three are enemies because of threat capability, leadership animosity, and unwillingness in nuclear negotiations. I am talking about Iran, South Korea, and Venezuela. All three are led by men that have outwardly spoken hostilities toward the U.S. and our allies. Iran and South Korea have nuclear programs, and South Korea wants a long range nuclear delivery system very badly. Venezuela is beginning to exercise some of its oil muscle in South America, and is attempting to get other nations in its geographic range on board President Hugo Chavez’s anti-America campaign.
These are the nations that create the most threat at the time, but we are not in direct conflict with any of them for right now; hardly conditions that would be worthy of calling “World War III”.
Let’s not jump the gun on something so important.

A new day has dawned...

The success of this blog, and I do consider it successful, because it has been over a year and I am still posting here, has largely been due to the inner conflict I went through last year leading up to the separation of my marriage. Needing an outlet for some of my venting emotions, I turned to this blog to release some of my thoughts and feelings. It has served as my platform for other ideas and ramblings, but ultimately what brought me back to this page was my own confusion, frustration, and anger about what was happening in my life. The past year has seen me open up in new ways, and I have begun to develop a way of expression I knew was possible, but which I had never sought. If nothing else positive came from my marriage, this blog and my writing have brought more joy and happiness to me than I ever could have realized.
Today, I am happy to announce the largest event since I began The Road Less Traveled.
On June 27th, 2006, the judge signed the final decree, and I am officially, finally, divorced!
I have been out of town since last week, and I came back last night to return to work for a couple of days before leaving town again tomorrow. I checked the court website all last week, waiting to see if there was any change in status on the case, but to no avail, the paperwork was apparently still on the judge’s desk. I had to stop by circuit court at work today, and had a few spare minutes to go in the clerk’s office to ask about it. To my surprise, the deputy clerk emerged from the judge’s office, went to the copier, and handed me a copy of the final decree granting me the divorce.
I read through the paperwork several times this afternoon. It seemed surreal looking at it after all these months, and I repeated to myself, “I’m divorced”, as if to establish the new status in my mind. Although when I got married, I never planned to be divorced, today will be seen as a happy day in my memories, an ending to one of the worst chapters in my life.
Now that it is official, and it is finished, something else can happen. The divorce is truly over, and this can be put in the past where it now belongs, resolved, and placed next to some other forgotten memories. I will no longer be mentioning my marriage, separation, or divorce here. There is nothing left to work out or express when it comes to that issue. I am free to move on.
Now, to truly find the road less traveled, there have been some other recent developments. While specific details are still being worked out, I can now say that the Ann Arbor, Michigan, area looks to be the place for the not too distant future. I have been forthwith about this to anyone who has asked, and the planning has been in the works for months. Events taking place as recently as today have brought me closer to accomplishing some other goals I have set.
This weekend I will be totally off the grid and unwired. No phone, no email, no instant messages, and no other way to contact me unless you somehow make national news or radio and by chance I catch it; albeit unlikely even in that event. I will check voicemail on Monday, and email Tuesday night.
In the coming months, I hope to be more specific about plans as I lock everything down, and make some exciting changes. I will be writing more, and several projects I have been eyeing will be announced and coming into their own as well. The site will be updated, changed, and revised, and everything looks like it will be even better. Bookmark, check back, and if you have time, click a few ads to throw me a couple of bucks.
Thank you all who have been reading and returning the past year. Today really feels like a new day, and I hope you’ll stay around for what is to come.
Alex

How a headline makes a difference...

I am of the generation that was told by the time we were 30, the world would be out of fuel, and greenhouse gases would make Earth a barren landscape. I am now 28, and while it is not likely either situation will pass in the next year and a half, I do believe our dependence on fossil fuels and the pollution the industrial revolution (which we are still in the middle of living out) has caused is affecting the planet adversely. I am suspicious of oil companies, cautious of corporations claiming "environmental interests", and concerned that it will all come crashing down on later generations, too much, too late, for them to do anything about it. I would like to think I am fairly represtative of my generation, although I hate to say there are many more active about it than me.
Al Gore's recent presentation series, and the documentary inspired by it, have brought widespread attention to the debate on global warming. I say debate rather loosely, because it is the overwhelming majority of the scientific community that reached a consensus on the issue decades ago, and everyone else has other interests at heart, or maybe at wallet. Any issue can be a debate. If you don't believe me, please, by all means, visit this website for more information on an almost undebateable belief. You can find someone to endorse any idea, no matter how deep they have to bury their heads in the sand to believe in it.
Anyway, in the recent swing of public interest about global warming, a government commissioned group of scientists announced that "yes, Virginia" there is global warming, or at least a recent increase in the average temps compared to the previous 2000 years. That's right, millions of your dollars to find out it hasn't been this hot since Jesus was executed. As the media has faithfully reported these revelations, one headline stuck out amongst the masses, and screamed of understatement. See for yourself.
Among such headlines as:

Earth hasn't been this hot in a long time, scientists say (Detroit Free Press)

U.S. Panel Backs Data on Global Warming (Los Angeles Times)

and

Study: Earth 'likely' hottest in 2,000 years (CNN.com)

there was this gem from ABC News:

Research: Earth Running a Slight Fever

ABC is not the only company that has used this quote from the National Academy of Sciences describing their findings on the global warming issue, but as far as I can tell, it is the only major American news agency to do so in a headline. If you want the list, check out Google News's listing.
So what is the difference? Isn't this the same terminology used by the NAS? Yes, but life in today's media is about marketing. Taking the smallest chunk of sound bytes you can get away with and hoping you can slip your message into the ever shortening memories of consumers. Regarding global warming, what is the message you want to send? Do you want to tell people it's the hottest it has been in 2000 years, or do you want to say the planet has a fever? Semantics, maybe, but saying the planet has a fever denotes a temporary condition that will get better without drastic intervention. It humanizes an issue that is not necessarily comparable to the human condition. I think the representative of the NAS made the statement to place in better terms some of the broad issues at hand, but never meant the statement to represent the whole story.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I am about the hottest I have been in 2 days.